BYEBYE2009

Bye Bye, 2009

BEST SONG BY FEMALE GROUP 2009 (Korean)

Please Don’t Go, CL & Minzy (2ne1)
OH MY GOD. I thought I was going to have 2ne1’s “I Don’t Care” As my favourite Korean Female Song of the year… Then this got released. It makes me really happy LOL It’s like… my second Ebabo! I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO IT EVEN IF YOU AREN’T KOREAN. ‘Cos I’m not and I love it LOL LISTEN TO THE CHORUS. Please Don’t Go

BEST SONG BY MALE GROUP 2009 (Korean – I realise the song’s in Jap)

Jaejung & Yuchun (DBSK)
AHHHH When I first heard this… Immediately I was like OMFG. Because I watched the MV and was like holy @1.39 JJ’s smile WAAA. LOL. No, I don’t understand why there are red bursting things. Prolly something to do with the title of the song. BUT ITS SO PRETTY. AND YES IM AWARE ITS IN JAPANESE LOL, but they’re a Korean Band XD So IT COUNTS.

BEST SONG BY FEMALE 2009 (Female Korean)


Jisun – Goodbye My Heart
I THINK this was released this year =/ . I got it off Jaever in around, April I think XD I think it’s awesome & I listen to it when I want to cry LOL when it goes “I will wait for you…” I use to bawl so hard LOLOLOLOL <.>

BEST SONG BY MALE 2009 (Male Korean)

Wedding Dress - Taeyang
GNAW <3 style="">

BEST SONG BY MALE GROUP 2009 (Taiwanese – Mandarin)



Fahrenheit – Ji Mo Bao Zou
Fahrenheit kind of took a back seat in my music tastes this year L because I think they released this right at the beginning of the year XD No, I don’t know Jiro’s in a fur coat, or Calvin in a Poncho. AARON LOOKS SO GOOD THOUGH OMG LEATHER JACKET.

BEST SONG BY FEMALE GROUP 2009 (Taiwanese – Female)



Yan Hai Gong Lu De Chu Kou – S.H.E
This isn’t 2009 LOL it’s 2008 XD But I don’t think they released anything this year…So I put my favourite song of last year. It was my crying song <.> Still is because I relate to it heaps. Ish. Well what the MV Shows XD I WANT TO YELL AT THE SEA TOO.

- I don’t know of a Best Female & Male –

BEST FEMALE GROUP 2009 (English)

BEST SONG BY MALE GROUP 2009 (English)

OKAY THIS WAS 2008 BUT I DISCOVERED IT IN 2009 LOL. So I’m just going to count. “How can I move on, when I’m still in love with you?” GNAW <3> But it’s not related to me. I’m still real innocent LOL BUT I LOVE IT! XD

BEST SONG MY FEMALE 2009 (English)



You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
LOL all my friends would have predicted this would have been my favourite song. I sing it enough LOL. I don’t know why I like her songs so much. Prolly because every girl relates at least to one of them. This song makes me real happy. WHY CANT YOU SEEEEEEEEE EEE EEEEEE YOU BELONG WITH MEEE EEEE EEE. Me and Nelly sing this, remember dearest?! SHE WEARS HIGH HEELS I WEAR SNEAKERS! LOL.

BEST SONG BY MALE 2009 (English)



Down – Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne
LOL ORLY MAZ? Yeah I listen to jst about everything and anything LOL. I like this one too J

HORROR AT MINE AHH

Read about how my day went, for days when you may be completely bored LOL

6/12/09
Today I was suppose to start getting toned (NTS: NOT Muscular) @ Badminton. But last moment, I decided I didn't want to go, instead, I wanted to shop LOL

So I went to New Market by myself LOL
I caught up with Alex Though! I went and stayed in the shop for about. 15ish minutes then left to go shopping by myself. Not that great, lonely mostly. Purchases included top from glassons, purell, erika's present part two and Tudor history book by Alison Weir. Obsessed.

Met up w/ Jaever after his audition. Had sushi. Went back to mine. He got scared of the downstairs area.

M: C'mon enter the room! -Mabel Enters-
J: Whats that up there?! -Points-
M: *SCREAMS* + Facials
J: AHAHAHAHA (There was nothing up there)

ASSHOLE >:[ LOL jk

He was totally scared though. Keep saying how there could be the grudge boy+cat in cabinet. Scared the crap out of me.

Yeah. That was my day.
I feel another melancholy blog coming through. I can't keep it in T_T

don't you trust me?

I have no other image LOL

Argh, upset-provoked entry.
I want to go down somewhere these holidays with my friend
But i'm having a hard time because my parents won't let me.

I understand there point of view, but I wish they could trust me and try to understand my point of view too. They protect me so much, to the point, I have no identity. I'll always be the little, innocent and weak girl, affected about what others think of her, forever living in fear of a world she doesn't know how to handle. I haven't been exposed to the bad side of the world, and so when I entered the work force, I just completely cracked and couldn't handle the way people treat me. Everytime I get told off, which is often, I want to cry. It's because I'm not use to it, I've been protected so much of my life, ALL my life to the point I'm so worrisome and paranoid all of the time. I have to confidence and no common sense.

So I'm just sitting here, upset because yet again, I totally see myself not doing much these holidays. I'm an adult next year, and when I grow up and tell my children what kind of a life I can, i can tell them I didn't have one. I did nothing when I was younger, and all these things you're suppose to experience when you're a teenager will cease when my birthday hits next year and I'm an adult. I'm going to get old, and still not be allowed freedom. I feel like a bird trapped in a cage, wanting to spread my wings and fly, but enclosed by the bars which are my parents.

Don't get me wrong, I understand where they are coming from. I'm a girl, so they want to protect me, but seriously - I'm over protected. A lot of us, over protected kids usually go off the rails and rebel. I've heard of cases where families restrict their children so much, that when they're finally free they go crazy and binge drink and do drugs. My parents should feel good that they have me, because I'm an angel compared to a lot of other people. I don't do any of those things and I have a preference over history books than partying. SEE! Why can't they trust me?! I'm such an angel - I mean I READ HISTORY BOOKS IN MY SPARE TIME FOR FUN. I wouldn't rebel and do something nasty, would I?

Don't you trust me?
Why can't you trust me?
Please, just, let me go
Let me experience the world for once
Let me be free for once

Let me,
Be Happy for once.

how can i move on, when i'm still in love with you?

I'm so obsessed with blogging XD I like my friends being able to read about my heart.

This entry shall be about what a lot of you guys have come to me about, and what I have come to you about.

Love
I'm orthodox, and to me, love is in every way one of the most important sentiments one can hold. To me, there are three types of love

1) Love for your family
2) Love for your friends
3) And this other sort of love. I can't really explain it. Like. When you think of the person. Your chest gets real tight. And stuff. LOL

I'm going to spaz about #3. Because its what a lot of you guys feel atm, and come to me about.
I'm going to focus on the "moving on" aspect of it though, because I repeat the same advice over and over again, and i'm so hypocritical because I myself don't follow it, but I forced myself to, and I'm all better now LOL I don't want you guys to hurt... So I'm going to help you all at once. (Or, try to..)

Not too long ago, I was feeling like this:

"And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here"

- Jesse McCartney. LOL SHUDDUP OK


The bolded is what hit close to me, and it will for alot of you guys too. It's because we're all so stubborn with our feelings, and we're always thinking "What if.." or "Maybe if I waited... Just a little bit longer". STOP IT. STOP IT NOW LOL. I know i'm being really hypocritical, with my crushes lasting an average 1.5 years (LOL), but seriously, stop waiting. You'll end up hurting yourself more and more, and I don't want to see that happen...There will be someone out there for you.. But its not him. To see alot of you, holding on for such long periods of time, and then being treated by dirt, or so I hear from you guys talking to me, they're not worth it.

I'm really tired but I want to write LOL i'll divide into sections so it makes it clearer for my brain.

Guys you like, but are douchebags and treat you like crap
No. Of guys that fit under this category: 1 (LOL guess who?)
But you, somehow, deluded as you are, continue to like them. Some of you like these guys >< And, i don't want to push you and tell you to give it up, because I know its hard. You kind of ask yourself.. maybe they'd change? But guys, guys are guys... and they won't. Imagine, it was me in your situation. Some guy, giving me crap, and then me still holding on. What would you tell me? Exactly what I'd tell you. It's not worth it. Why wait, for some, douchebag of a guy, when you may miss the one that's actually for you? You're worth a crapload more.

Guys you like, but they're like your best friend, or only see you as a friend
No. Of guys that fit under this category: 1
I think, personally, this is the hardest. But from experience, all the advice that I can give is that, you've already got a friendship... and by endevouring on something else you have the potentional to break it. You have to think to yourself, would it be worth it? Would I be willing to sarcrifice this friendship by revealing how I feel? It makes things awkward, and in the end for me you have to learn to accept, that your friend is entitled to his own feelings. Accept the friendship you have! I did, and It's the best decision i've ever made.

Fin Later..
Talking to friend about hangout idea!
EXCITING LOL

To My Dearest, Salome

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR!
It was only around, four to five months ago, that we were celebrating mine, and you came to school, with lollipops in your hand for me, and then at lunch, you thought I didn't want them, so you ate one LOL.

I wish I could give a gift of some sort, and wanted to take you and the YES girls out bowling, but even if we kidnapped you it wouldn't work - So i have to resort to this pithy blog entry. When i see you again in February - I'll present you with your REAL present! :)

Thank you for being the funniest friend i've ever had! No one makes me laugh like you do. We're so competitive too... Ohohoho watch out next year! Its our last year to compete!

From the resistance competitions, to the writing neatly comps in eco - We're so weird, but in a cool way. A lot of the stuff about you that i've written is in your xmas msg - I don't want to spoil it by repeating the stuff here - But I just want you to know you're absolutely fabulous - I always tell my friends outside of school about you (nice things of course!) because you have such a positive influence!

HAPPY 17TH
I hope you have the lovilest day
Because you, deserve it.

Love,
Mab.
XX

spaztastic.

Gwa, I'm in such a need-to-spill-everything-on-mind-mood

My friend suggested it was a good idea to talk about stuff that people might be able to relate to... so I decided it was a good idea too (Thanks Sophie :D)

Manipulators
All of my life, I grew up with a father that told me never to trust anyone. And all of my life, I adhered to that lesson. He does so to protect me, but has in situations gone to extent of telling me that even my closest friends are manipulating me. Of course, I don't think they do - I have some of the most amazingly loyal friends in the whole wide world - And I'm glad and feel so blessed to have them. I'm able to distinguish "Real" and "Fake" friendships really easily, and I can predetermine which ones will last, and which ones aren't based on a mutual trust and loyalty , so those ones will crash and burn. Fortunately, the majority of my friendships don't look that way at this point in life.

But out of my friendship circle, I've encountered so many manipulators. To the extent, because of my natural niceness, I get hurt by them. From experience, I've determined that manipulators:

1) Feign innocence, or delude ordeals in order to gain sympathy/attention
2) Feign a sweet, kindly demeanour in your presence, and then talk about you behind your back. (Two-faced)
3) Have motives. They are unscrupulous, and will do anything to reach their goals.
4) Are insincere. They will say things to suit them, and may not mean it
5) Act out of jealously, or a want to advance themselves
6) Possess no moral values, make arbitrary comments to demean others

Watch out for them. To me, manipulators will always lose out in the end. Have a pure heart. Because Karma's a bitch and will come and get you in the end.

Waa Quick! Turn! Hide! I'm not pretty enough, I'd scare the world!

Confidence
Everyone knows of my, horrid self esteem (despite the fact i like taking pictures with friends) XD It's due to the fact that I'm a little weakling and I let what other people think about me affect me so much. The other night, I was talking to one of my sweetest friends, I look up to this person so much, and I learnt a really good lesson. Through life, I've been called some pretty horrible things. From racial comments through to demeaning comments about my looks or appearance. I let these things affect me so much... Cry alot and wonder whats wrong with me constantly. No matter how much people tell me that i'm absolutely perfectly fine I let the negatively override me. Not anymore.

People who make comments about you, to purposely make you feel upset shouldn't mean a thing to you. They're the one with the problem (Some, sad, sad problem because making comments about people, kind of shows you have ... no life... lol). I don't really understand why people find joy in bringing others down. I don't understand why the whole world cant just conform to my way of thinking, I find joy out of making others smile... not cry!

So I decided that I'm going to work on my confidence. Chyeah, I may not be the prettiest girl in the whole wide world, and people call me that dreaded "Ugly" But... I don't give a crap. I don't believe what people say about me, when there are other people who tell me otherwise. I'll just go on, living my life how I want to live it - being beautiful on the inside. Because people can be gorgeous on the inside, but who would care if inside their heart rots black? LOL I'm being so harsh. <.>

Henyway, straying away from the point.
Everyone would have had comments about them that would have upset them in some form or another.

Don't listen
Everyone's a tall poppy - Radiant and shining. Don't let others cut you down.

It rained, and my jeans got soakedd.

2/12/09
Yesterday, which was the 2nd I went to catch up with Izzy & Sophie :D
Which was, really nice because the night before I got really upset over something and I needed to talk XD We basically just, hung out at Izzys after getting starbucks.
Izzy told us about this sicko pedo who was stalking her.
T_T There sure are some real sick people in this world of ours.
Henyways, Izzy and Sophie don't like pictures. So I ran around trying to ctch the cat, Remy (LOL LOSERR) And as above, even that was fail. Douche.
We have to ctch up again my dears Ily.
3/12/09
Today I felt like a senior, finally.
We were required to take the little new entrants to the college around school today.
It started with an assembly to welcome everyone, and then Morgan, the Special Character Prefect and my good friend spoke to the assembly. At that moment, I was so happy and so proud of Morgan, watching her stand up there and lead us just like all the other leaders had prior to her. I've been friends with her since year 10 and now we're the seniors of the school, and like, my friends are like babies to me LOL So to see her so grown up and talking made me feel so mum like and so proud LOL (Douche). Same feeling when Isabel stood up to be presented as our Head Girl of 2010, i'm so ebullient and proud beyond words... Gwaa nuff of the cheese.
Anyways, the moment that the deputy principal got to stand up and announce the rest of us as the prefects of 2010, was the moment I felt like a senior, and finally, I accepted myself as a person to be proud of, which is a feeling of love for my self, and my character that I didn't have before.

We got asked to take the little children around school (in the lovely, rainy weather we're having at the moment) and by the end of it, we realised how much responsibilty we're going to get next year, and how hard it is going to be... but we're going to stick together - and get through.

By the end of the day I was headachy, tired and wet - But i had to go into work. I got SOAKED because my umbrella was broken and the rain was blowing from all directions. So now I'm a bit sick XD. Work made my headache worse. Because i had to take out the rubbish in the rain... and i was clearly soaked... then got asked to bring stuff inside from the rain. <.>

Its not good for my health I tell you, it's not worth the $25 I get. My health is deterioating because of work.. I was in the toilets and I found a white hair. T_T

I got offered a potato fritter on the other hand :) I thought it was fish, and pointed to it saying i'd like to have some fish. Then the boss told me it was a potato fritter LOL FOB. Screw my skin diet LOL (I will pay for it later, when the pimples pop up T_T)

I leave you with Remy, Izzy's more than adorable cat
Oh, Yes, and my toes. YES MY SECOND TOE IS BIGGER THAN MY BIG TOE . Im not abnormal okay ? LOL